Most Unhelpful Comment or Why I Hate Sarcasm
I shouldn't have taken the kids to open gym today. We all slept poorly last night; Sam got Steve up four times and Athena got me up four times. I was nodding off in my chair at 9:30am.
But we went, and it was mostly fine. Athena got cranky at 11am so I nursed her and let her fall asleep on one of the gym mats. Sam started showing signs of tired/cranky, but it was close to time to go and I knew it was going to be difficult. I gave him the five minute warning, then the one minute warning. At the one minute warning he SCREECHED "NOOOOOOOO" at the top of his lungs, as he has been prone to do in similar situations lately. This was followed by very loud crying, running away from me, and more screeching.
Let's just say right now that I despise this behavior. I am embarrassed by it, it is out of character for my son, and it is just downright disruptive. But he is going through this phase, and I know (from experience and from parental guidance authorities) that yelling back will not work. I don't believe in hitting children (or adults, for that matter). What I do is pick up our things and quietly leave as quickly as possible. Last week, Sam screamed almost the entire way home.
Today's episode was complicated by the fact that I had a sleeping baby to get home too. And it was freezing outside, so we had to put on coats (not to mention shoes and socks, in Sam's case). So as I begin reaching for our things (immediately after the first screech), another mom looks me in the eye and says, "If your child teaches my child to do that I am going to be really pissed."
Yeah, uh huh. I'll get right on that.
Have a nice day.
But we went, and it was mostly fine. Athena got cranky at 11am so I nursed her and let her fall asleep on one of the gym mats. Sam started showing signs of tired/cranky, but it was close to time to go and I knew it was going to be difficult. I gave him the five minute warning, then the one minute warning. At the one minute warning he SCREECHED "NOOOOOOOO" at the top of his lungs, as he has been prone to do in similar situations lately. This was followed by very loud crying, running away from me, and more screeching.
Let's just say right now that I despise this behavior. I am embarrassed by it, it is out of character for my son, and it is just downright disruptive. But he is going through this phase, and I know (from experience and from parental guidance authorities) that yelling back will not work. I don't believe in hitting children (or adults, for that matter). What I do is pick up our things and quietly leave as quickly as possible. Last week, Sam screamed almost the entire way home.
Today's episode was complicated by the fact that I had a sleeping baby to get home too. And it was freezing outside, so we had to put on coats (not to mention shoes and socks, in Sam's case). So as I begin reaching for our things (immediately after the first screech), another mom looks me in the eye and says, "If your child teaches my child to do that I am going to be really pissed."
Yeah, uh huh. I'll get right on that.
Have a nice day.
posted by Beth at 1:30 PM
5 Comments:
would you feel any better if you knew my child cried almost all the way to school this morning (1 hr)?
Because the ear of her bunny cookie broke off. The cookie I gave her as a bribe b/c we didn't have time to have cereal in a bowl w/ milk and she wouldn't agree to cereal in a baggie with sippy of milk.
Ah, Monday.
From now on, I am "off" bribes.
I do the "super low" "super calm" voice when she gets crazy in public, combined w/ the quick exit - and attempt at redirection "what do you think we should do first when we get home - have a snack or hang our coat up?
".
Oh, Beth. Yuck. I'm sorry.
I'm sure you know you are doing it right. I really admired the way you handled Sam last week. When kids do the crazy-screaming-all-the-way-home thing the ONLY thing to do is be neutral, get home, and try to survive it. People who think you can somehow "make" or cajole the wee one into submission just don't get it.
And P.S. no one is going to "teach" another child how to do that - they all do it, at one point or another. I'm sure that Mama knows that - unless she's in major denial!
When I started reading this I was slightly relieved to know that Sam is only nearly perfect, otherwise it totally messes up my belief system. (Ouch! I bit my tongue! What was it doing in my cheek, anyway?)
But, I have to admit to being naive enough to be stunned at the rudeness of the woman who said that to you. As moms we need to support one another in those circumstances. We are all there at one time or another.
Yeah, they all do it sometimes and isn't it a wonderful way to know we're all in this together: Nobody really got hurt and you modeled an excellent response.
It would be interesting to see what she says when 'Unhelpful's' child acts out, and somebody says to her: "How'd you teach your kid to do that, mine's never that loud." Now, that's sarcasm; what she said was just meanness.
The really sad thing about that woman's comment is that when her child goes through that stage -- and they all do -- she is going to think s/he "learned it" from someone else's child.
[Not that kids *don't* learn things from other kids. But she's delusional about this one.]
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