The Meaning of Wife, Part I
I'm reading this book, and it has really got me thinking. First about how I bought into the Wedding Industrial Complex hook, line, and sinker. Then about how, in my peer group at least, 'staying at home' is now a status symbol. Even if you are so poor you can't rub the proverbial two dimes together, you are accorded a certain status for 'giving it up for the kids.' I, fortunately, have the best of both worlds. I can claim the benefits of a stay at home mom (did you know it's really easy to make your own tortillas; and it's super cheap!), but I also earn a decent salary and have no issues with lack of adult conversation or professional satisfaction.
So, what's the point?
I realize that I am a victim of the latest media and marketing craze, in ways I absolutely did not recognize. My sudden interest in home organization, menu planning, and home-cooking is largely a product of my demographic and its place in time. The pendulum will swing and other things will become emphasized again in time. It is hard to recognize, in myself and others, what is truly of our own wanting, and what is mostly manufactured. I suppose being part of a larger society, our individual wants will always be shaped by the group we identify with. But it doesn't make me feel any less of a tool.
I challenge you, dear reader, to think about the way you define wife. Then think about why. It is fascinating. More on this topic to come.
So, what's the point?
I realize that I am a victim of the latest media and marketing craze, in ways I absolutely did not recognize. My sudden interest in home organization, menu planning, and home-cooking is largely a product of my demographic and its place in time. The pendulum will swing and other things will become emphasized again in time. It is hard to recognize, in myself and others, what is truly of our own wanting, and what is mostly manufactured. I suppose being part of a larger society, our individual wants will always be shaped by the group we identify with. But it doesn't make me feel any less of a tool.
I challenge you, dear reader, to think about the way you define wife. Then think about why. It is fascinating. More on this topic to come.
posted by Beth at 10:36 PM
3 Comments:
To me there is an essential element of service and self-sacrifice.
Dan has suddenly gone domestic - he's been cooking dinner and helping clean the house, etc. It's amazing how much less stress I feel.
Had a couple odd moments w/ MIL this last weekend - one was having her tell me she thought the baby was spitting up so much b/c she was tired of breastmilk.
and did you happen to see the front page link on NYTimes.com about bf'ing? New push to tell mothers that formula is INFERIOR to breastmilk, not equivalent - and that choosing not to breastfeed is taking a risk.
More opportunities to make non-nursing moms feel bad about their choices or more opportunities for the rest of us to get the recognition we deserve for making a choice that many see as "odd"???
"It is hard to recognize, in myself and others, what is truly of our own wanting, and what is mostly manufactured."
True, and requires massive amounts of mental discipline to even see how the ways we become tools. Ugh!
However, "wife" I define in terms of my relationship to my husband. Homemaker may include domestic tasks, but wife (and mother) are words that describe relationships.
(It helps me to not feel guilty about the dust bunnies. Or cows, as my honey likes to call them.)
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