bling

That bright light you see is the sun glinting off my new gold tooth. It's way back in the back, but if you are looking for it you'll see it. Man, it sucks to have rotten teeth. Especially with no dental insurance.

Effort

I've been seeing a lot of runners lately. Mostly people I know, mostly women, and all of them breezing along as though running were no big deal. They can talk, smile, look around. I envy them.

But this morning I realized that it's all a matter of degree. As I watched a woman I know run by (why is it that many of the runners I know have a history of anorexia?) I realized that I was pushing Athena's stroller at a pretty good clip. I have no problem walking for 10, 20, 30+ minutes at a time, even up hill. I know people who cannot do this. I know people who cannot walk two blocks without becoming winded.

This gives me hope that some day, I will be one of those runners who make it look effortless. I sense this would make me a very different person than I am today.

This is just the way it is right now

We celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary yesterday. June 24, 2000 was a beautiful sunny day in Port Townsend. Yesterday, the weather wasn't quite so nice. And there were other differences too...

Athena woke up at 5am, refusing to go back to sleep. I finally got up with her, made some coffee (decaf -- why?!), and my breakfast. By 7am she was ready to go back to bed. At 7:15, Sam woke up, wanting "nursings." At 8am baby was up again; time to wake up daddy (yes, I let him sleep in). Happy Anniversary honey!

Got Sam off to school, Athena had her first playdate (go Emerson!), and we did the banking for the store. Then home, cram some lunch down (melted cheese on brown rice), and nurse baby down. In to the office until 5pm, then off to Chetzemoka (site of our glorious nuptials) to check in on the Boiler Room School's Out BBQ. Sam's babysitter was one of the performers, and I had to check in with some folks for work (my agency paid for the party). Luckily, we were able to feed Sam there -- ya gotta love hot dogs.

Back home, baths for both kids, and baby is nearly asleep when Bridget arrives to babysit. Sam *loves* this babysitter, so he was thrilled. It almost made up for me washing his hair (is that a banshee or is that my son screaming?) We take off confident that all will be well. Now if only we can stay awake.

Yummy dinner at Ichikawa, yummy dessert at Mezaluna, then waddled down the street to Water Street Brewing. Is it only 10pm? God I feel old. Chatted with a few folks, then parked ourselves on a comfy couch in the bar to watch our friend's band play. Having a pretty good time, maybe even a second wind, when Steve's phone rings. Turns out it had rung 15min earlier but we didn't hear it. Couldn't hear much from the babysitter, but baby screaming in the background was all we needed to know. Dash out the door, headed for our car. Thank goodness we didn't decide to walk down. Turns out baby had been crying non stop for about half an hour, inconsolable. I get her to settle down and fall asleep, just about the time brother wakes up screaming. Sigh. So much for a grand romantic finish. The boys crash in one bed, the girls in another. It's only midnight. And this morning it starts all over again.

From our wedding ceremony:

‘Yield and you need not break:’
Bent you can straighten,
Emptied you can hold,
Torn you can mend;
And as want can reward you
So wealth can bewilder.
Aware of this, a wise man has the simple return
Which other men seek:
Without inflaming himself
He is kindled,
Without explaining himself
Is explained,
Without taking credit
Is accredited,
Laying no claim
Is acclaimed
And, because he does not compete,
Finds peaceful competence.
How true is the old saying,
‘Yield and you need not break’!
How completely it comes home!

Time alone

The main theme for this month's Oprah magazine is "Me Time." I was already thinking about this, but in a different context. Last month I learned of three couples who were splitting up (absurd that now I can only remember two of them). This month I keep hearing about women wanting to spend large chunks of time alone. Two just came back from long weekends with "the girls." One couple is taking "separate vacations." And another woman has rented a cottage for the summer, which she will occupy sans husband (child will commute). Last summer, a woman I know went on a vacation overseas - alone - for something like six or eight weeks.

I remember an old friend who told me, as her marriage was ending, "You know all those vacations I took with my girlfriends? I should have taken them with my husband."

Now I appreciate alone time just as much as the next person. In fact, it is so rare for me to be alone in my own house (I count twice in the last five months) that I hear kid voices when there are no kids there. And I look forward to the rare times when my husband and I can get away together (this Friday will be the second time since Athena was born -- happy anniversary to us!) I love doing things alone that make me feel pampered, like getting a massage, going shopping, or having my hair done. But I honestly cannot fathom being away from my husband and kids for an extended period of time. I would miss them too damn much. I would much prefer a maid and a chef, so I could enjoy the time I have with them without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else.

We are all going to Hawaii in January, and I cannot wait. Our first "real" vacation together as a family. Maybe Steve and I will even get an evening alone together. Wouldn't that be nice?

Red Rashy Bum

My girl has diaper rash. In the worst way. This is nothing new... she seems to be extra sensitive in her nether regions. The truly sad part is, we used the ointments (anti fungal for yeast, zinc for moisture barrier) and switched to disposable diapers for a few days. It cleared up, so we went back to cloth. Within 24 hours she was red and raw again. Sigh.

I did a little research and it turns out there are a million reasons why this might be happening. http://www.motherease.com/infoD.html

So we are going to try some of these suggestions, and keep her in "paper" until the rash goes away again. I hate having her in them, but I hate seeing her raging red bum more.

I am a kitchen rock star

Tuesday night, I picked up our dinner from BL's house -- dinner co-op night. She had been working on a farm earlier that day, in exchange for fresh produce. In addition to a lovely dinner, she gave me a big bag of bok choy, harvested only hours before. Wednesday we went to the Farmers Market (now twice a week!) and found nothing to make for dinner (got some yummy fruit though) and ended up at Lanza's for dinner. The special was sea scallops, which we didn't get, but I told Steve that I would get some Thursday and make them for him. I'm not crazy about scallops, but I do like them in sushi.

So today I decide that I need to combine the bok choy and the scallop promise into one dish. I got some enormous sea scallops from Key City Fish, some fresh ginger, and made a yummy asian dish with the bok choy, scallops and... cheese ravioli. Honest, it was good! Steve was skeptical, and I had no idea if my sauce was right, but it was delicious. I cooked the bok choy in olive oil and chicken broth, then added the sauce (fresh grated ginger, rice vinegar, garlic, soy sauce, chili oil, and sesame oil). I cut the scallops in quarters and marinated them in some of the sauce before sauteeing them. Mmmm, mmmm. Sammy of course had his ravioli with olive oil and parmesan.

But the true rock star part came *after* dinner. I made a double batch of peanut butter oatmeal cookies, a quad batch of pea salad with fresh bacon and radishes, 16 fresh italian sausages (8 hot, 8 sweet), and 6 onions slow cooked in the bacon fat. This will be my dinner co-op offering tomorrow night. Which means I don't necessarily have to leave work early, and I won't be frazzled in the morning trying to get everything done.

Thank goodness my spectacular husband does all the dishes.

Home cookin'

I just made the most wonderful stew for dinner. Never mind that the munchkin wouldn't eat it and the hub is majorly distracted by work stuff. I enjoyed it. I'm reading a book right now that espouses buying only fresh, in-season foods from a trusted local market. This being Saturday, and since Sammy must leave the house every morning by 10am ("Where are we going today, mommy?") we trudged through the rain to the Farmer's Market. Old Tarboo Farm had the most succulent rainbow chard and collards. I couldn't decide, so we got both. Sauteed them in some olive oil, added chicken broth, a few tablespoons of pesto, a can of black beans and a can of chopped tomatoes. Plenty of salt, pepper, chili oil and red pepper. Simmer for an hour or so, and yum! I served it over brown rice with shredded colby jack cheese. Sooooo good.

In my perfect world, I would shop daily at Aldrich's or the Food Co-op and only buy what we need for the next day or two. No extra junk, no buying out of season produce just because it's on sale. And no highly-processed questionably nutritious packaged foods. Sigh. I guess I could try it now, even before Aldrich's reopens in a month or so. Do I have the discipline? Does organic ice cream count? Wait, what if I buy it from Elevated? Fresh, local...yeah. I like this idea.

Whutchewlookinat? 

Potty Power!

Right now, my son and my husband are sitting next to each other, each on their respective potties. Sam is at the very beginning of getting, what we call around here, "potty power."

I can do it myself, I'm a big kid now
I can do it myself, I've got potty power!

I'm so lame

About an hour and a half ago, a bunch of moms (and a few dads I'm sure) gathered at a local bar to socialize, have a drink or two, and "forget we have kids for a few hours." I had half planned to go. But this afternoon I realized I would rather stay home and take a bath, maybe watch a movie. Lame-O. I didn't even have to cook tonight, as last night was "dinner co-op" and we ate it tonight instead. I finally got my unhappy baby girl to sleep, watched some TV, then took a nice hot bath. I let Sammy join me towards the end, even though it meant I had to cool it down for him. Kids in bed now -- I'm ready to watch Star Wars with my love. No place I'd rather be.