Monday, September 04, 2006

Ethics and maternity leave

I had occasion to speak with a woman today -- a very nice lady who was on her first excursion out of the house post baby #2 -- when she confided to me that she was "not going back to work, but they don't know that yet." I have seen this happen time and time and time again: women who promise their employers that they will be back just as soon as their maternity leave is over. Then, sometime between their last day on the job and their first day back (or even before) they decide, nah... I'm not comin' back. But I have *never* known a woman who, once she made this choice, did the ethical thing and told her employer right away. Every single time, they (the great big "they") wait until the last possible moment before clueing their employer in. I remember one woman who was told by her benefits person that she should not tell her boss she wasn't planning to come back, so that she could take full (financial) benefit of her maternity leave.

So... what's wrong with this "me first" attitude? It is harmful to business, but it is also harmful to women. It perpetuates stereotypes of women in the workplace, particularly women of child bearing age. When I applied for the job I am currently leaving, I was 7 months pregnant with my first child. The three women who interviewed me all wanted to hire me, but the lone man on the committee was hesitant. "Women change when they have a baby" he said. The others laughed and/or glared at him, overruled, and I was offered the job within a few weeks of my son's birth. I started when he was 8 weeks old (it was part time and I could take him with me).

But what he said is often true. I wonder what this means for (some) women's ability to be true to their word, or more importantly, be true to themselves. I'm not saying that we always know how we will feel when life's major events overtake us, but we should be able to conduct ourselves with honesty and respect. We should give these decisions (when and whether to work) the forethought that they deserve, and when circumstances change we should do the right thing.

This ideal has applications far beyond maternity leave, of course. As a small business owner I have been on the short end of the stick with employees more than once. It would never occur to me to lie about a doctor's appointment in order to take advantage of a sick leave policy, or simply not show up for work one day (or show up and quit on the spot). Until recently, I probably thought it was illegal to not give two weeks notice when leaving a job.

I have no good way to wrap this up other than, treat your employers, your co-oworkers, and yourself with respect, always. Be the kind of person who can be trusted to follow through. Set a good example - you never know who is watching.