The art of friend-making

I was talking to the guy who "sculpts" my brows yesterday, about making friends. He has had a hard time meeting people here in PDX, and just recently has been able to make some connections. I told him the hard thing about reaching out to people is knowing them well enough to know what they might be interested in doing with you. With moms it is even harder, as they have to weigh your invitation against spending time with their family, potentially getting a sitter, etc. Which makes the casual "let's go for drinks" seem like almost too much work.

I have met a couple of women since moving here that I seem to "click" with, but haven't taken that next step of really reaching out to them. I had a nice surprise this morning, when I heard someone calling my name at church. I looked up to see M., one of the few women at work that I have connected with. We've had lunch a few times, but we never got around to, "So, what do you do on Sunday mornings?" Funny how that never came up. I was happy to see her, and it made me feel like my instincts were correct that we could be friends.

I took the extra effort to attend a PTA meeting, and a nursing mother's activist meeting, last week. I had hoped to open the door to some new friends, with common interests. It's like dating though, finding new girlfriends is labor intensive. It takes time. But as my PT friends feel further and further away (Becca -- can't we trade dinner this week??) it's important that I establish some new pals here. And if they have interesting partners, so much the better. Now that we have a reliable babysitter, double dinner dates sound really appealing. But so does coffee on Saturday morning, scrapbooking on Sunday afternoon, or drinks after kid's bedtime any old night.

Fathers Day 07

It happens to be Father's Day, but this is really an update on how amazingly happy we are to be living in Portland. One of the great things about being here, is when I told Steve at 11am "Between now and 6:30pm you can do whatever you want" he actually had someplace to go. In PT we would have had to leave the house in order for Steve to have some quality alone time. Here, he took his Father's Day cash and hit the record shops. By foot and train, with good food and coffee along the way. Sweet.

I get asked every once in awhile whether I miss Port Townsend, and I have to say only, "I miss my girlfriends." Nothing else ever really enters my mind. I don't miss the judgments and expectations I seemed to have cultivated in my circle of acquaintances. I don't miss the Chinese water torture quality of financial stress we lived with for most of the years we were there. I don't miss the sameness of virtually everything: the people, the ideas, the goods and services, the attitudes. I'm not saying I was any different, then. The small town things sucks you in and before you know it you are small town too.

What do I love about Portland? I love the urban feel of our home, and having all the bedrooms upstairs. I love seeing 20-somethings dressed for business. I love seeing brown skin of all shades and ages and hearing different languages. I love walking five blocks to Trader Joes at 8pm. I love getting paycheck every two weeks, paid holidays, and excellent health benefits for $15 a month (total for the whole family). I love that Steve is home with the kids and he does the dishes and the laundry in between unpacking all our stuff. I know this last part will end fairly soon but it is sooooo nice right now.

We had a fun visit with Pam, Brock and Baxter a few weeks ago and discovered some good pizza for delivery. Tonight we found awesome Chinese (salt & pepper squid, Kung Pao w/ chicken, shrimp and beef, the juiciest BBQ pork ever) just a few blocks away. Both were recommended by the family across the street; two attorneys with a new baby and a two year old, who are taking turns staying home (Dad first). Note to self: invite them over for dinner.

The kids and I are settling in to our church, and looking forward to meeting the new minister who starts in August. Both kids are now in school three days a week (different schools), so Steve has the enviable schedule of Mon & Fri w/no kids, Tues & Thurs w/one, and Wednesdays with both. As productive as he's been with the kids home things can only improve with them gone. Lucky me!

We visited my parents at their new house in Moses Lake and got to see my grandma (who now lives with them) and my sister & her family. In two weeks Steve's parents will visit. We have no plans to visit PT but feel that we are getting close to an offer on our house. So hey, you! Come visit! It's a wonderful time to be in the Rose City.

First week

We are here in Portland, and it feels like we've been here much longer than 10 days. I started my new job last week, and things went pretty well. It is exhausting though, working full time. The last time I did this (1999) I could come home and just crash. Now I have family to attend to, not to mention all the chores of moving into a new home. Oh, and I'm a bit older now too.

I have hardly done any of the unpacking. Steve is doing it all. He's so awesome.

I am loving walking to the train each day, and delving into the corporate environment. Politics are pretty thick where I work, so I'm trying to figure out where I fit in. Mostly I want to learn the job, score some early wins, and not piss anybody off too much.

Athena is doing great at her new (temporary) daycare situation. We don't love it but it is what we found, so it will have to do for another week. She goes M-F from 9am-1pm. It wasn't a good fit for Sam, so he has been home with Steve. Sam is having a hard time adjusting to being away from his friends. He doesn't say so, but I know he misses the rhythm of his life in Port Townsend. He had friends to play with everyday; he doesn't have that here. It is causing him to act out and try everyone's patience.

Again, Steve is getting the worst of this. He is awesome. xoxoxo

We have ventured out a bit into the neighborhood. Steve and the kids have found several parks (indoors and out -- yes they have indoor parks here). We tried the Tibetan restaurant half a block away and it was good. I walk past Trader Joe's twice a day and find it hard not to stop and grab something we "need." We're planning to take the kids to see Shrek III -- it plays every half hour on the weekends starting at 9:30AM!

Sam and I went to church today, and I think this one will work out. They meet at 5pm on Sundays which is a great time for me. Athena stayed home this time to get some play time with Dad. Sam is having trouble getting used to the new place/people, but the songs are familiar and I think he'll get it in a few weeks.

I went to another NIA class today, (I went last Sunday too) which is taught by one of the founders, Carlos Rosas. I still think it is amazing and I look forward to going each week. With all the walking I do to/from and at work, if I can get in one dance class a week I think that will feel pretty good. My body already feels different just from all the walking. In a good way.

Two down, three to go

Today I accepted an offer from Kaiser Permanente to work in their communications department as Liaison, NW Permanente. The job is a marketing communications manager position, with writing responsibility. I will be working on internal and external communications projects for the physicians of Kaiser, some 800-900 of them. I am thrilled to be back in the workaday world, doing what I like to do and happen to be good at. Provided I pass my drug test and background check, I will start work on May 14th.

Also today, I offered the job of Executive Director of The Women's Health Project to a bright, confident woman who will do great at keeping the organization moving forward. I am so relieved. I will train her for the next few weeks, then she is free to make the job her own. Once we make an announcement about her, the fundraising should kick back in to gear.

Not bad for one day.

Moving right along

It has been an interesting experiment to try and manage the spin on our upcoming relocation. Our timing is so heavily dependent on a bunch of things coming together at roughly the same time, it's hard to tell people exactly what we are up to. But here's an update, such as it is:

We have five major points to address in this life-change we've embarked on.

1. Sell the store. We are working with a terrific buyer, and if all goes well we will be transferring ownership in the near future. That's about as specific as I can get at the moment.

2. Sell our house in PT. It was listed this week, and we are READY TO SHOW!

3. Get a job (for me) in PDX. I have a second interview next week.

4. Transfer my nonprofit organization to a new Director. I am interviewing four candidates in the next several days.

5. Buy a house in PDX. This can't happen until all of the above is accomplished, plus probably Steve getting a job. But we're looking at lots of places next weekend!