Time alone

The main theme for this month's Oprah magazine is "Me Time." I was already thinking about this, but in a different context. Last month I learned of three couples who were splitting up (absurd that now I can only remember two of them). This month I keep hearing about women wanting to spend large chunks of time alone. Two just came back from long weekends with "the girls." One couple is taking "separate vacations." And another woman has rented a cottage for the summer, which she will occupy sans husband (child will commute). Last summer, a woman I know went on a vacation overseas - alone - for something like six or eight weeks.

I remember an old friend who told me, as her marriage was ending, "You know all those vacations I took with my girlfriends? I should have taken them with my husband."

Now I appreciate alone time just as much as the next person. In fact, it is so rare for me to be alone in my own house (I count twice in the last five months) that I hear kid voices when there are no kids there. And I look forward to the rare times when my husband and I can get away together (this Friday will be the second time since Athena was born -- happy anniversary to us!) I love doing things alone that make me feel pampered, like getting a massage, going shopping, or having my hair done. But I honestly cannot fathom being away from my husband and kids for an extended period of time. I would miss them too damn much. I would much prefer a maid and a chef, so I could enjoy the time I have with them without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else.

We are all going to Hawaii in January, and I cannot wait. Our first "real" vacation together as a family. Maybe Steve and I will even get an evening alone together. Wouldn't that be nice?