feeling better
Things are not quite so bleak today. I had a fantastic run this morning -- 41 minutes for my three miles. I am actually getting faster; can you believe it? I had some foot and ankle pain today, and will probably need to get new shoes before too long. My current shoes are cross-trainers (the only shoes that fit from our small department store), so I think I will make the trek to Seattle and have them watch me run on a treadmill and suggest appropriate shoes. I have heard that the right shoes make a huge difference in comfort and performance.
I got an email from my dad this morning saying that he intends to keep his promise to put together a tool kit for Sam. Which just makes the note I got from them that much more confusing. But I had a really good talk with my ever-lovin' spouse last night, about starting over with your parents as an adult. Steve reminded me that my parents clearly love me unconditionally (I know this to be true) and would do anything for their grandkids (I also know this to be true). He reminded me that I am a very independent person, who happens to also have a great need to be appreciated, which can be confusing at times (I agree).
In the overall scheme of things, my parents are wonderful, loving people who would jump to help if I were to call. We do not have the fantasy relationship that I imagine other people have with their parents, especially those girls who refer to their mom as their "best friend" and call her every day. I see my parents about twice a year, and talk to them on the phone at major holidays. That's about it. When I was single I would go to Utah or wherever to see them for Thanksgiving or Christmas (some times), but they have chosen to not travel at the holidays (which is smart, weather-wise and traffic wise). So I never see my parents at Christmas, and probably never will given our retail ball & chain. Which is why, perhaps, I count on getting a box of trinkets from them. So it is like we are together. Eating dad's fudge and staying in our pj's half the day. Only these days I have to get dressed because my in-laws come over on Christmas morning. (Not that they would care if I stayed in my pj's, but it might freak Steve out)
Families are tricky business. The only thing to do is love 'em the best way you know how, and be gentle with yourself when things get rocky. It helps me to remind myself that, the way I feel about Sam and Athena, is the same way my parents have felt about me for 40 years. I really believe this to be true, and it is comforting to remember. And you know, if I happen to find the absolutely perfect gift for one or both of them, I will send it any way. Maybe I'll just wait until January.
I got an email from my dad this morning saying that he intends to keep his promise to put together a tool kit for Sam. Which just makes the note I got from them that much more confusing. But I had a really good talk with my ever-lovin' spouse last night, about starting over with your parents as an adult. Steve reminded me that my parents clearly love me unconditionally (I know this to be true) and would do anything for their grandkids (I also know this to be true). He reminded me that I am a very independent person, who happens to also have a great need to be appreciated, which can be confusing at times (I agree).
In the overall scheme of things, my parents are wonderful, loving people who would jump to help if I were to call. We do not have the fantasy relationship that I imagine other people have with their parents, especially those girls who refer to their mom as their "best friend" and call her every day. I see my parents about twice a year, and talk to them on the phone at major holidays. That's about it. When I was single I would go to Utah or wherever to see them for Thanksgiving or Christmas (some times), but they have chosen to not travel at the holidays (which is smart, weather-wise and traffic wise). So I never see my parents at Christmas, and probably never will given our retail ball & chain. Which is why, perhaps, I count on getting a box of trinkets from them. So it is like we are together. Eating dad's fudge and staying in our pj's half the day. Only these days I have to get dressed because my in-laws come over on Christmas morning. (Not that they would care if I stayed in my pj's, but it might freak Steve out)
Families are tricky business. The only thing to do is love 'em the best way you know how, and be gentle with yourself when things get rocky. It helps me to remind myself that, the way I feel about Sam and Athena, is the same way my parents have felt about me for 40 years. I really believe this to be true, and it is comforting to remember. And you know, if I happen to find the absolutely perfect gift for one or both of them, I will send it any way. Maybe I'll just wait until January.
posted by Beth at 10:33 AM
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