One year ago

I am afraid that I won't have time to blog tomorrow, so I want to be sure I mark the anniversary of Athena's birth. Athena Rebecca Wilmart was born one year ago tomorrow, February 1, 2005. I wrote about it in my LJ http://emw.livejournal.com/11983.html at the time. Worth noting is that a few days after I wrote her birth story, we were at Swedish Hospital for three days with Athena's RSV. I was not so scared at the time, but the more time passes and I realize how truly small and vulnerable she was then, it becomes more frightening to think about.

Athena has been walking for a week or so now. She will take 20 or so steps at a time, and loves to stand up and be the center of attention. She claps, shows you her tongue on command, and is generally a very cheerful little girl. She adores big brother Sammy, loves to wrestle with him and whack him on the head. He, in turn, is always looking out for her and being about as responsible as a three and a half year old big brother can be. We are truly blessed with two sweet kiddos.

Our Birthday plans include a special snack at Playschool tomorrow, turning the car seat to front-facing as soon as the weather eases a bit, and feeding Athena some special "one year old" foods. She was to get her first yogurt for dinner tomorrow, but a friend who babysat her today unknowingly jumped the gun. No matter. I bought some strawberries for her to try, and maybe we'll do scrambled eggs too. And more yogurt, of course.

I was sad for several days after Athena was born, and sometimes I still get sad. It seems like life is moving so fast... not enough time to sit and drink in the smells and sounds and sights of my children. We plan to begin night weaning Athena this week, which will take away those precious moments when she is half asleep and needing only the smell and taste of mama to lure her back to dreamland. The trade off is a little more sleep for me, and presumably better sleep for her in the long run. But it is a milestone, and since she is our last child, it makes me a little sad. Sam and I will get a chance to reconnect, as he gets to sleep with me in the spare bed while daddy night weans the girl. We had some fun tonight, Sam and I, playing Nature Bingo and Animal Dominos at his request. I asked him tonight when he thought he would stop nursing (he only nurses once a day, just before bed) I said maybe when he was four... and he looked at me in horror at the thought and said, "I don't know!" I told him that's OK and he should just let me know. Sometimes I worry that Athena will wean before he does.

My baby girl is growing up. I am so happy for her, and proud. And a little nostalgic too. I guess that never stops...

Book sale books

Despite the fact that I did not make the time to sort through my own books and donate those that are no longer needed, I eagerly snatched up nine new (to me) books at the QUUF booksale yesterday. I didn't even approach the children's books, but Steve made up for it with a substantial set of Hardy Boys books, and several other books for Sam & Athena.

I came home with:
1 biography
1 book of essays
2 novels
2 books on parent/child relationships/discipline
2 self-help books
1 book of short fiction by a woman I know from church (I had no idea she was an author)

Unfortunately, I have not even started reading the two novels I got for Christmas. I was distracted by A Million Little Pieces. Off to bed now to try and knock that one out...

Random thoughts on a blustery winter night

Steve turned 40 on Tuesday. We celebrated as best we could, given that our options for doing something really spectacular were rather limited. Breakfast was a decadent treat, Steve took the day off and went for a drive, then we called in the babysitting co-op to allow us a dinner date at Lanza's sans kiddos. Steve asked for, and will receive, framing of his Christmas gift (a painting by Gatheringplace artist Craig Rogers) as his Birthday gift. Sam made him a very special card, and I like to think my card touched him in some way too. But was it a "milestone" event? Hard to say. Did we make such a big deal out of my 40th that his was left a bit... plain? We were to have had a houseful of guests for the whole weekend, but circumstances delayed that gathering by a month or so. So is it better to have many small celebrations spread out over time, or one big bash?

I've started an early morning walking club for moms who want to knock out some exercise before their maternal and/or professional responsibilities kick in for the day. Although this was not my intent, it has completely replaced my running program. I meet whomever shows up at 6:30am in front of a coffee shop near my house, and we hoof three miles in 48 minutes. On Saturdays we sleep in; we meet at 7am. My schedule calls for Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat which gives me a good number of work outs but does not feel too onerous to maintain. If I were to miss a day, there are others who only go on Tues/Thurs so I could go then. The social aspect is very enriching. We pair off differently each time, so there is always an opportunity to chat with someone I may not get to chat with very often, especially without kids as a distraction. It has been really great so far, and I hope it continues.

I'm reading A Million Little Pieces, and despite the controversy, I am enjoying it. But I find myself thinking in addiction language about my current diet. Steve and I are off sweets at the moment, and are watching portions and limiting fat intake a bit. I have lost 6 pounds, he more than 7, in two weeks. I go to one or more grocery stores daily, either for food for the family or my now-daily afternoon nonfat latte (decaf -- why bother, eh?) So I see the mounds of Valentines candy, the pastries, the bulk-food candy, the supersized chocolate bars at the check out counter (10 for $10? Really?) I am often hungry when I go, and sometimes the urge to buy something and furtively devour it is overwhelming. I haven't - yet - and I am reminded how hard it was when I quit smoking. Yet that craving did eventually pass, and only rarely does it surprise me by resurfacing. Same thing with alcohol; I spent many years consuming much more than I should have. Now I rarely think about it; it is more of a "special occasion" type of thing, and I don't mean that "every day is special, it's five o'clock somewhere" type of thinking. Really, it just does not occur to me. There are people in this world who feel that way about sweets. I am not one of them and probably never will be. So for now I remain hyper-aware of my feelings when they come, and the addiction lens is a convenient one to view them through.

Pox-y Girl

Athena seemed to have it worse than Sam. It came on quicker, and she had a lot more spots. She even itched, which he did not. This outfit was the softest thing I could find to dress her in -- very loose and cool. It was all over and done with in about a week, and things are now back to normal. Except for typical winter snotty noses... 

It got worse before it got better...

Sammy was able to return to school on time last Tuesday, but it was a pretty "spotty" week.