This is what 40 looks like 

Steve and Jack raid the liquor cabinet 

The Birthday

I turned 40 yesterday. I'm feelin' fine about it -- I've started running, I've got my two kids and a swell hubby, life is pretty good, no real regrets. Steve has three best friends, and one of them (Jack) came out for a long weekend that just happened to coincide with my Birthday. My parents arrived yesterday for two days, and one of Steve's other best friends (Harris) came over before the party today and might stay over tonight.

So things have been hectic and wild around here since Thursday, but mostly in a good way. I'll have to save the party for another post (try to hide your disappointment), but my actual Birthday 8/27 was pretty fun too. Farmer's Market in the morning, hanging out in the afternoon, dinner at La Isla with the 'rents, then they babysat while the boyz and I went out for cocktails. I had two lemon drops downtown and got a little looped (I'm such a lightweight now), and topped it off with a shot of Tuaca at home.

Pictures to come.

The Onion Twins

Tonight I took a friend to see The Onion Twins. We get seats at all the events Quimper Sound sells tickets to, and this one looked the most interesting to me. A dance opera? It was fun. I missed some bits and the ending was flat, but we had a good time. Apparently the little scrolls that were handed out at the beginning by the performers held the key to the major plot points. We didn't get a scroll. I was glad I wasn't the only one going, "What happened?" at the end.

I don't go to many "cultural" events, mostly because I'm afraid I won't understand them. I enjoy live theatre (and understand it, usually) so I'm not sure why I don't indulge in that more often. Priorities, I guess. I went to one real opera, in Seattle, and liked it. But I felt like I was lacking the proper education to truly appreciate it. Mostly I liked the high drama of it all, and getting dressed up.

Music, now there is where I get really lost. Living with a music guy, who has lots of friends and relatives who are musically knowledgable, I often feel like a complete clod. Everything from the performers to the music to the language used to describe it is pretty much foreign to me. I'm sure there are things I talk about that seem that way to other people, but I feel more judgement about my ignorance of music, art and literature. I mean, who really cares if you don't know the difference between whisking, folding, and stirring? Or you don't know whether gender is a risk factor or a protective factor? (My lack of knowledge about music is so complete that I cannot even think of an appropriate analogy here -- see my point?)

So, can one be progressive, elegant, and intelligent without a good understanding of art, music and literature? Or am I truly a backwards, dimwitted clod?

Tales from the scale

Four years ago, I met a bunch of other women in an online weightloss community. We met on a board called "Tales from the Scale" -- where people would talk about the ups and downs of using a scale to measure success. I had just initiated a month-long "no weighing" regime, and these five gals joined me in talking about it. I think most of them also abstained from weighing for a month, but I honestly don't remember.

We formed our own group in October 2001 and have been emailing nearly daily ever since. We went from six to four members, and I am still in touch with one of the gals who left the group. We talk about everything -- babies, husbands, lack of husbands, aging parents, self-esteem, goals, dreams, disappointments and yes, weight.

I've been thinking about how we met because, I am once again banishing the scale. I've been sick this week, no appetite, and I knew I had lost weight. But I had resisted weighing because I know from experience that no matter what the number is I won't be happy with it. This morning I was irritated at something, wanted to feel good, and decided to get on the scale. Indeed, I had lost weight. But the process of how and why I weighed myself and how I felt about it struck me as very unhealthy. So I put the scale away.

World of Food

Steve had a great suggestion the other day, "Hey, why don't you start another blog for recipes, menus, and what-not?" Great Idea, says I. Why don't you set it up for me? He did, and I have posted my first "food stuffs" commentary here.

No time

Every minute of my day right now seems scheduled. "That's because it's true - it is," says my husband. Thanks. That doesn't make me feel better.

My running is going great, I look forward to stepping out in the wee hours for a half hour or so of my own. I even logged on to the Rhody Run site today, just out of curiousity. No, I'm not planning on running or walking the Rhody Run. But I'm not ruling it out either. May is a long way away.

Athena had her first solid food this week - rice cereal mixed with mama's milk. She LOVED it. She grabs the spoon and shoves it in her mouth. Sammy was slow to take to solid foods. Athena is a very different baby.

(This is how my life feels right now. Short choppy ideas. No way to form a lengthy coherent train of thought)

Sam and I made a killer berry cobbler tonight, with blueberries we picked on Tuesday with his classmates, blackberries from our yard, and some left over marionberries from the farmer's market last week. It had an oat/brown sugar crust and topping, and the filling was thickened with tapioca (a first for me). Yum.

And last night, I went to a Naked Lady/Switch & B*tch party. I came home with a few things, and one pair of pants that *almost* fit. Everyone was so nice, and assured me that they would fit soon. I was very proud of myself for stripping down and trying on clothes in front of a dozen (mostly) strangers. As I listened to the murmur of women around me, I realized that everyone has issues about their body. Even the girls at the size small pile were making comments like "I can't show my upper arms" or "I wish I had her thighs." I was the biggest girl there and the first to whip off my top, baring my stretch marks and gall bladder scars. I think the running is really helping with my body image. I haven't lost any weight, but I do feel more comfortable in my own skin. Oh, and it was bloody HOT in the room, so I really wanted to take off my shirt!

Proud parents

Yeah, we look like we have two kids. Two FUN kids!

Blowing out the candles

Sammy had about a dozen friends over for Birthday cake, pigs in a blanket, etc. Much fun was had by all!

Party Girl Part II

Athena was pretty excited about Sammy's Birthday party. Although she slept through half of it, the other half she was being held by a variety of party guests. All smiling right back at her!

Putting it out there

My mom has discovered my blog. I know, I know... I put the damn link in all my emails, what did I expect? Ah well, the more the merrier.

And I am showing up in other people's blogs. I'll let you guess which character I am.

More World Breastfeeding Week

The kids and I went to Chetzemoka Park today to join the World Breastfeeding Week celebration. I wore my lactivist shirt, and taped these signs to the stroller to support tandem nursing. I was a bit harried, just like last year. This particular part of the park is wide open, and when it is full of other kids Sam alternates between running off and melting down. I ended up taking him to another part of the park which was much more fun for all of us.

World Breastfeeding Week

Steve thinks this kind of lactivist propoganda is too negative. Note the "booby donuts."

Big six month old girl!

Happy Birthday Boy

SammyT happily opening Birthday presents on Monday.

I ran

I did it. Today I started learning how to run. I feel great! It was just right -- not too hard, not too easy. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. The program calls for 3x/week runs, but I may get out and walk the other days. It felt so good to be out in the early morning mist with just my own thoughts (read: no kids).

All this is in celebration of my impending 40th birthday, but today is a special day all on its own. SammyT turned three today, and Athena is six months old. Happy Birthday all around!